On Being Single

I’m single. I rarely sulk in my singleness. I am free to do what I want and when. The remote is always in its place, except when my dad comes over. As an introvert, I truly cherish my alone time. I’m in charge of my finances. (Read: I like control.)

But on days like this when I have a nasty virus with a 103 degree fever, chills, sore throat and achiness, it’d be nice not to have to call my parents who live 25 minutes away to warn them they might get a middle-of-the-night phone call. It’d be nice to have someone cook when I just don’t want to – or don’t have the energy. (For my married friends, I know you cannot always depend on your spouse to be there. Just allow a single girl to rant for a moment.)

Why don’t I just ask for help? Well, it’s “just” a virus. People function independently with a virus, right? Veg on the couch and watch Netflix. But I really doubt most of my able-bodied friends understand the amount of energy it takes to do “simple” things like transferring into bed or making a meal even on a good day. I’ve not laid in bed today because it just seems like too much work. Yes, I could try to find and pay a personal care attendant, but that involves money and the risk of getting someone else sick.

My willingness to tear down that wall of independence and humility has yet to crumble unless it’s a dire situation. I don’t want to be a burden. I know this audience understands my feelings.

So, maybe I’m writing this as a declaration to ask for help, even in non-emergency situations. But I’ve yet to pick up the phone. After all, my temp has dropped to 102 degrees.

How have you learned to ask for help in these situations? Suggestions are welcome.


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